If your strategy for happiness depends on bending circumstances to your will, this is terrible news: the best you can do is to pray that not all that much will go wrong and try to distract yourself when it does.Ī Stoic who finds herself in an abusive relationship would not be expected to put up with it, and would almost certainly be best advised to take action to leave it. Reassurance can actually exacerbate anxiety: when you reassure your friend that the worst-case scenario he fears probably won’t occur, you inadvertently reinforce his belief that it would be catastrophic if it did. Thinking about the possibility of losing something you value shifts it from the backdrop of your life back to centre stage, where it can deliver pleasure once more. One of the greatest enemies of human happiness is hedonic adaptation. What makes the prospect of starvation or exposure distressing in the first place? The beliefs that you hold about the disadvantages of death. What actually causes suffering are the beliefs you hold about those things. But nothing outside your own mind can properly be described as negative or positive at all. Most of us, the Stoics point out, go through life under the delusion that it is certain people, situations, or events that make us sad, anxious, or angry. One way to do this, the Stoics argued, was by turning towards negative emotions and experiences not shunning them, but examining them closely instead.
Tranquility was to be achieved not by strenuously chasing after enjoyable experiences, but by cultivating a kind of calm indifference towards one’s circumstances.
Switch to negative visualisation instead, and to start focusing on all the ways in which things could go wrong. They confused visualising success with having already achieved it. Spending time and energy thinking about how well things could go actually reduces most people’s motivation to achieve them. Real Stoicism involves developing a kind of muscular calm in the face of trying circumstances. Stoicism, which was born in Greece and matured in Rome, should not be confused with ‘stoicism’ as the word is commonly used today – a weary, uncomplaining resignation. ‘Positive thinking’ had made them feel worse. They didn’t feel particularly lovable to begin with – and trying to convince themselves otherwise merely solidified their negativity. Those who began the process with low self-esteem became appreciably less happy as a result of telling themselves that they were lovable. The outcome we’re seeking to avoid is exactly the one to which we seem magnetically lured. The title and cover make it seem like light pop, but it's a wonderfully-cynical British journalist diving into Stoicism, meditation, death, etc. The first book I've read in years that makes me want to read it twice.
Go to the Amazon page for details and reviews. The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking - by Oliver Burkeman | Derek Sivers Derek Sivers The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking - by Oliver Burkeman
0 kommentar(er)
